I just listen to so much music that I like the role music can play in scoring something. I'm not doing song parodies or funny songs, I'm just adding some music to my words. So it's limited and specific, but as a performer I find it pretty enjoyable.

I'd love to win trophies, be in movies, have a body of work I'm proud of and find a way to enjoy it along the way. Success is probably a more of a complicated thing than that.

I think statues are great; they show what great people would look like if a bird sh*t all over them.

A cool tattoo design is any drawing that would also look good saggy.

Reality is a concept that depends largely upon where you point your face.

I think there are so many little hurdles and impediments with stand-up that you'd need to have this insane desire to do it if you didn't have something that clicked right away.

To make even fewer friends try talking about politics as much as you talk about yourself.