I love motor learning because it's very basic and primal. A lot of what I like to learn correlates with the opposite of what gets you laid. I can ride a unicycle and I can juggle. These are unimpressive things to know.

I saw a sign that said, 'Watch for children.' I was like, 'That sounds like a fair trade - especially if they're crappy kids.'

Skeet shooting is probably more satisfying if you really hate skeets.

It is interesting that the black BMW is the preferred car of so many assholes.

I know about Woodstock probably as much as your average person who is over 30, where I'd know Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Grateful Dead.

If you want to feel less sexy put scotch tape on your nipples.

If you have a lip ring try hanging some tiny keys from it. This will make you look even more interesting.