The best way to make somebody feel important is to try to assassinate them.
The key to life is balance, especially if you are on a ledge.
Our Times, a Brief History: As televisions became flatter, People became rounder.
I have a time machine at home. It only goes forward at regular speed
Usually, I walk around and think about things. When I come across a thought that makes me laugh, I write it down.
And of course I didn't make any money from stand up for years, so I had temp jobs. That was the way I made money.