If you drink enough beer, everything turns in to a bed.

Sometimes heckling can almost help a set, because it ratchets up the tension in the room... can even bring things to a climax.

Popcorn is one of the only situations in which you eat the result of an explosion.

I was in my friends garage, and he had; a kite, a yo-yo, and a boomerang. I was like "Dude, you have abandonment issues"

I don't know what the long form of OK is. I wanna think it's okie dokie. 'I'm okie dokie. I'm a little shaken up, but I'm okie dokie.' 'The good news is, she's okie dokie. The surgery went fine.'

A car alarm is a way for a car to tell everyone that its owner is an asshole.

I was stuck in traffic and I looked in the mirror and in the car behind me there was a couple having a horrible argument and right below their image it said "Objects In Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear". I just thought, man I hope so because she was pretty mad.