What's this about rice milk? I didn't even know rice had nipples!

Right now someone out there is struggling and starting to panic because they can't get out of a tempurpedic bed.

It's very easy to turn a toy into an adult toy: Location, location, location.

A good name for a gang would be The Uneducated Idiot Tough Guys.

Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away.

I was in my friends garage, and he had; a kite, a yo-yo, and a boomerang. I was like "Dude, you have abandonment issues"

If I had a bookstore I would make all the mystery novels hard to find.