What's this about rice milk? I didn't even know rice had nipples!

I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says 'go outside.'

I tend to avoid televisions, politics, and places with velvet ropes.

For some reason cowboy sounds better than cowman.

The difference between a child's toy and an adult toy is: location, location, location.

The plastic knife is perfect for when a person just wants to make some marks on his food and get insanely frustrated at the same time.

You know what's the greatest part of anything ever in the history of everything? Exaggeration. No, wait; it's correcting yourself. No, better yet, it's making lists.