Tic Tacs are the maracas of breath mints.

If I think of a joke that's really dirty and I think it's funny I'll try it but what I've found over the years is they just don't laugh. It doesn't work coming out of my mouth so it's like they taught me 'don't do that. Don't go that way or you'll lose me.'

I wonder if there were any goths in gothic times. They're like: You look completely appropriate. You don't look stupid or lonely at all.

I am what I eat. And I am this especially when I bite my nails.

The problem with most people, is that they are most people.

I used to get bummed out when it rained; then I realized that it's God's way of washing off hippies.

When I was in high school I experimented sexually. The experiment was to never have sex with anybody no matter how hard I tried. Success! Hypothesis confirmed.