Tic Tacs are the maracas of breath mints.

Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.

The thing about glitter is if you get it on you, be prepared to have it on you forever. Because glitter doesn't go away. Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.

A lot of things look cooler in slow motion. Eating isn't one of them.

A refrigerator is the opposite of a drug addict, because a refrigerator starts in a box and then moves to a house.

Checkers taught me that a King is a man with another man on top of him. But life taught me that that's actually called a Queen.

I equals all of the ifs added up over time. The ifs, those are the possibilities; that's infinite for all of us. Every day there are just millions of them. Time, that's finite for each of us; there is no question there. Maybe if you divide choices by the amount of time you have, the real I can emerge, depending upon those choices.