A sports bar is a way to take a bar and fill it with even more annoying people than usual.

Parades are man's attempt to make traffic exciting.

I want to get the joke to work without having to put any words or to say anything. I just want the person to look at it, and quietly in their brain, they can just put it together and say, "Cool, that one works".

I didn't play music, nobody in my family had an instrument or played music, we didn't even have any books at my house. I think about it and I'm like, I don't know how I climbed out of there.

The lord works in mysterious ways. Indeed. And a shorter way to say that is: God is a sneak.

When I was a kid, I always wanted to live in California because I liked skateboarding.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.