I just know keeping track of what I'm doing and where I'm going is important to me.

My original goal was just to do stand-up but then I became interested in films - writing a film, shooting one someday, and getting to act in them.

Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline.

I think a bad place for a fire would be the factory where they make those trick candles.

When they were naming vitamins they must have thought there were going to be way more vitamins than there ended up being. OK let's name these: Vitamin A, Vitamin B... ok man slow down we've got a lot to cover here. B2, B3, B4, B5, B6, B12. Then they got to E and they were like 'We're pretty much done. We've got all those damn B's. This is embarrassing. Let's just skip to K and get the hell out of here.

Every fight is a food fight when youre a cannibal.

I am everything and I am nothing. I am just kidding; I am not everything and nothing. That would be ridiculous. I am just everything.