My mind says one thing, but my body says another. Thanks a lot, Indian food and beer.
Demetri MartinIf I could control the behavior of fat guys I would make them ride mopeds more often.
Demetri MartinI live in New York and there are a lot of famous... pizzerias in my neighborhood, it's really hard to find one that isn't famous. Which sucks sometimes, you know what I mean, sometimes I don't want all that glitz and glamour, I just want something delicious, you know? I don't need a celebrity in my mouth, Ray's Up And Coming Pizza would be fine.
Demetri MartinThe planets. Now footnote, I'm including Pluto in the planets, because I think it's terrible what they did to Pluto. And it's still a planet to me. I grew up with Pluto as a planet, it will always be a planet.
Demetri Martin