My mind says one thing, but my body says another. Thanks a lot, Indian food and beer.

I keep a lighter in my back pocket all the time. I'm not a smoker, I just really like certain songs.

Parades are man's attempt to make traffic exciting.

Canoe plus waterfall equals I don't go camping anymore.

Sometimes heckling can almost help a set, because it ratchets up the tension in the room... can even bring things to a climax.

I like playing frisbee. It is the only sport where you can throw something at a person and it's okay.

History, like wallpaper, repeats itself and can also make a room look old-fashioned.