The other night I was playing twister with some amputees.

I started being a comedy fan when I was, I'm going to guess, like 5 or 6 years old.

Sometimes I feel like I'm being watched, but then I remember that my show was canceled three years ago.

If I had a bookstore I would make all the mystery novels hard to find.

I believe in empathy. When religion provides that for people, it's the best thing in the world.

When people show me pictures of their kids, it's okay. But when I give them a picture of me, to show to their kids, I'm weird. What kind of one way street is that?

Laborers want their kids to be merchants or business people. Business people want their kids to be professionals. Professionals want their kids to be academics, professors. Academics want their kids to be artists. And artists don't care if their kids are laborers or not. They can be anything.