I'm so secretive that when someone asks me, Hey, can you keep a secret? I say That's none of your business.
I think there's a difference between making comedy and reporting comedy. When you're a joke teller you can easily fall into the second, you can show up and just say the jokes.
Vampires probably don't have great breath.
There are very few songs about just liking someone as a friend.
The problem with most people, is that they are most people.
The plastic knife is perfect for when a person just wants to make some marks on his food and get insanely frustrated at the same time.