It's like your children talking about holidays, you find they have a quite different memory of it from you. Perhaps everything is not how it is, but how it's remembered.

I defy anyone to get a decision that quickly these days.

There's an unseen force which lets birds know when you've just washed your car.

It's a funny kind of month, October. For the really keen cricket fan it's when you discover that your wife left you in May.

What is a harp but an oversized cheese slicer with cultural pretensions?

If the laughter of the audience was malicious we wouldn't show it.

Dictum on television scripts: We don't want it good - we want it Tuesday.