He lasted about as long as the dessert tray at Rosie O'Donnell's house.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

Martha Stewart denied allegations that she had been given inside information to sell 4,000 shares of a stock in a biotech firm. Stewart then showed her audience how to make a festive, quick-burning yule log out of freshly-shredded financial documents.

I've seen better coverage at an Alan Keyes press conference.

They have an amazing proliferation of TV channels now: The all-cartoon channel, the 24-hour-science fiction channel. Of course, to make room for these they got rid of the Literacy Channel and the What's Left of Civilization Channel.

The left promises abortion rights and cradle to the grave protection, so the trick is to make it to the cradle.

Twitter! Never have lives been less lived and more chronicled!