Sometimes you just have the thin the herd.

I cannot tell you how proud watching that [Iraqi] war coverage makes me. I know a lot of people are saying that they think that it's, that you know what we're doing is imperialistic. I watch the way we handle ourselves over there and I've never felt more patriotic in my life.

If some unemployed punk in New Jersey, can get a cassette to make love to Elle McPherson for $19.95, this virtual reality stuff is going to make crack look like Sanka.

After 7 years of marriage, I am sure of 2 things: First, never wallpaper together and second, you'll need 2 bathrooms . . . both for her. The rest is a mystery, but a mystery I love to be involved in.

I have the distinction of speaking to you from one of the few countries that still has a communist party.

Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women just want us to think that because women are trying to kill us.

I think the American legal system sucks worse than a Celine Dion cover version of Whole Lotta Love.