Why should I hate someone on the basis of their religion, when I can take a little time to get to know them and hate them for a myriad of real reasons.

It's a cocktail-party circuit in D.C., That guy who couldn't master the guitar and get in a band and get laid, he ends up there. Gary Condit make sense to me. He's away from his family, he's in D.C. - if he was a car dealer in the [San Fernando] Valley somewhere out there, he'd be the guy who was trying to get laid by offering you the free undercoating package.

Their offense is shakier than Katherine Hepburn after an all-night espresso bender at Starbucks.

Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand.

I think abortion's wrong, but it's none of my business to tell somebody what's wrong, he said. So I'm pro-choice. I want to keep my nose out of other people's personal business. I guess I fall into conservative when it comes to protecting the United States in a world where a lot of people hate the United States.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

And I've always been paranoid. I can remember as a baby my mother would spin the mobile above my head and thinking..."yeah, that's coming down."