I think the American legal system sucks worse than a Celine Dion cover version of Whole Lotta Love.

Some people like M&Ms plain, and some people like them with nuts.

Branson, Missouri, is Vegas for people with no teeth.

I don't have credibility, I'm a comedian. I'm not Ed Murrow up on the roof in a London fog reporting on the blitz.

Warner had more hands in his face than an OB-GYN delivering Vishnu's triplets!

Concussion? How the hell can they tell? They're *football* players, for chrissakes!

Campaign analysts say that Dean has produced the most innovative web site in this year's presidential race. I particularly like today's blog, which consisted of the sentence 'I hate myself,' typed four billion times. In Dean's case, this may be the first instance where the actually entity represented by the web site has crashed more often than the site did.