That field goal attempt was so far to the left it nearly decapitated Lyndon LaRouche.
Americans stick their nose where it doesn't belong more than Cyrano de Bergerac giving head.
That secondary provides worse coverage than a Guatemalan HMO.
Growing up, my family wasn't very tight. We were more like a tour group with secrets.
By and large, I think it should be a rule in the teacher employment manual that you can't go attend any event where if you took your classroom on a student field trip, they would summarily be obliterated. That should be rule No. 1.
I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy.