Drop the veneer periodically and be like "OK, I'm an imperfect human. Let's try to get through this."
Dennis MillerA recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.
Dennis MillerThere is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.
Dennis MillerThe way I've always governed my life as far as fiscal policy goes is I'm smart enough to know that I'm dumb about it, so I surround myself with smart people in much the same way a hole surrounds itself with a doughnut. I just pay things off. That's all I do.
Dennis MillerA developer is someone who wants to build a house in the woods. An environmentalist is someone who already has a house in the woods.
Dennis MillerThe ACLU spent this entire holiday season protesting public displays of the nativity scene. Yeah, that's the problem with America right now: Public displays of Christ's birth, that's the problem. It's unbelievable to me. The ACLU will no longer fight for your right to put up a nativity scene, but they'll fight for the right of the local freak who wants to stumble onto the scene and have sex with one of the sheep.
Dennis Miller