Joan Rivers telling Lauren Bacall her dress is all wrong is like Carrot Top telling Lenny Bruce he needs to get an edge.
Dennis MillerThe government could take away all the drugs in the world and people would spin around on their lawns until they fell down and saw God.
Dennis MillerA recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.
Dennis MillerI'm extremely moved by the loving, caring relationship the President always seems to have with his imaginary son.
Dennis Miller