Concussion? How the hell can they tell? They're *football* players, for chrissakes!

Obama better hope a kicked ass is covered by Obamacare.

Check out the helmet hair on Randy Moss, babe! He looks like some freakish anti-Mr. T after a long evening sleeping through 'Aida.'

Detroit's so bad this year they might lose their bye week.

I have the distinction of speaking to you from one of the few countries that still has a communist party.

A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second hand, George.

What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps us from fully enjoying the show. Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.