The way I've always governed my life as far as fiscal policy goes is I'm smart enough to know that I'm dumb about it, so I surround myself with smart people in much the same way a hole surrounds itself with a doughnut. I just pay things off. That's all I do.

After September 11th, freedom of speech in America has become a topic that's touchier than a Vatican summer camp.

Let me use their own terminology against them. They aborted a child in the 200th trimester.

I rant, therefore I am

It's your living room, it's your life, go nuts. You like Home Improvement? Tape it and go over it like it's the Zapruder film.

There's a lot of differing data [about global warming], but as far as I can gather, over the last hundred years the temperature on this planet has gone up 1.8 degrees. Am I the only one who finds that amazingly stable? I could go back to my hotel room tonight and futz with the thermostat for three to four hours. I could not detect that difference.

Now I don't have anything against Mexican people, but for God's sakes, sign the gust book on the way in.