Born again?! No, I'm not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time.

The Democrats continue to snipe at Bush. They'll never give it up to him. You know Teddy Kennedy and Tom Daschle pick more nits than a father and son spider monkey team who know they're being followed by a National Geographic film crew.

Warner had more hands in his face than an OB-GYN delivering Vishnu's triplets!

I think the American legal system sucks worse than a Celine Dion cover version of Whole Lotta Love.

Hey, Cunningham - Andy Warhol called. You're at 14:55 and we're tickin' big-time here, Chachi.

Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.

Now, personally, I am baffled by the concept of racial prejudice. Why hate someone based on the color of their skin when, if you take the time to get to know them as a human being, you can find so many other things to hate them for?