Born again?! No, I'm not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time.

If somebody wants to shoot up and die in front of you, more power to them. The herd has a way of thinning itself out.

What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps us from fully enjoying the show. Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.

I don't know what I think of George W. Bush when he first got in, but I've grown fond of the man, and maybe it's the times we live in. They say he's not an environmentalist. But every time I see his ranch on TV, it looks pretty nice. You know something, if we all took care of our own, we'd have a great environment.

Hey, what if those crop circles are just ads for Target?

Everybody has to sell out at some point to make a living.

And I've always been paranoid. I can remember as a baby my mother would spin the mobile above my head and thinking..."yeah, that's coming down."