Ouch! And Marino goes down quicker than his Boonesfarm-infused sister in the back of my '68 Cutlass on our first date after watching 'Love Story' at the drive-in.

The French are always reticent to surrender to the wishes of their friends and always more than willing to surrender to the wishes of their enemies.

Homosexuals are entering the mainstream, because they're becoming as boring and as tedious as any other splinter group.

What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then we turn on a dime and we immediately start taking care of people. It's like a shock and aw shucks campaign.

I like money. It's fun to fold and stack and smell and look at. It's just plain fun to count money, and I often do it in a loud falsetto while wearing nothing but a captain's hat and a coin changer.

Now, personally, I am baffled by the concept of racial prejudice. Why hate someone based on the color of their skin when, if you take the time to get to know them as a human being, you can find so many other things to hate them for?

If I want low-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate. If I want high-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate again.