I'm actually equal parts cynicism and apathy. I'm always willing to believe the worst as long as it doesn't take too much effort.

Why should I hate someone on the basis of their religion, when I can take a little time to get to know them and hate them for a myriad of real reasons.

Is it just me, or are the 49ers doing an awful lot of ass-patting today?

The punt returner got smacked like Nancy Kerrigan's knee on souvenir pipe night.

And by the way, my belief is that if men were the ones getting pregnant, abortions would be easier to get than food poisoning in Moscow.

Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply God's way of letting you know that you're having too good a time.

The Democrats continue to snipe at Bush. They'll never give it up to him. You know Teddy Kennedy and Tom Daschle pick more nits than a father and son spider monkey team who know they're being followed by a National Geographic film crew.