Ah, Feminism in the nineties, what a What is yours what is mine field.

Now, personally, I am baffled by the concept of racial prejudice. Why hate someone based on the color of their skin when, if you take the time to get to know them as a human being, you can find so many other things to hate them for?

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home.

And finally, and most importantly, the next time we go to war, don't give a specific reason for the war that the left can seize upon and later flog us with it ad nauseam, just do it. Remember, the first rule of Fight Club is that you don't talk about Fight Club.

I have a nice house. And when somebody says it's a palace, I always feel like we're digging a little or something.

America may be the best country in the world, but that's kind of like being the valedictorian of summer school.

That secondary provides worse coverage than a Guatemalan HMO.