We've got Nancy Pelosi. She never shuts up. It's just occasionally we have to hood her like a falcon so we can get some sleep.

Ouch! And Marino goes down quicker than his Boonesfarm-infused sister in the back of my '68 Cutlass on our first date after watching 'Love Story' at the drive-in.

Liberals always feel your pain. Unless of course, they caused it.

Bill Gates is just a monocle and a Persian Cat away from being one of the bad guys in a James Bond movie.

I come from that earlier time in America when palm pilot was a nickname you recieved upon entering puberty! I was more than a palm pilot I was the palm Chuck Jager. Tom Wolfe wrote a book about me called The Right Hand Stuff. I was the only guy in my class hip enough to move to the European grip.

I'm one of the more pessimistic cats on the planet. I make Van Gogh look like a rodeo clown.

There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.