I went to the UN and even the guidebook was spineless.

I would call the French scumbags, but that, of course, would be a disservice to bags filled with scum. I say we invade Iraq, then invade Chirac.

Most Americans will let liberals and conservatives play their games because most Americans don't pay attention.

A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.

If you could use the Internet somehow to see how a Fiji sailor is doing, rather than having to read a text version of it somewhere a day later, that would be great.

A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second hand, George.

Liberals always feel your pain. Unless of course, they caused it.