[The Internet] ... is an amazing communications tool that's bringing the whole world together. I mean, you sit down to sign on to America Online in your hometown, and it's just staggering to think that at the same moment, halfway around the world, in China, someone you've never met is sitting at their computer, hearing the exact same busy signal that you're hearing.

A third myth is that men think that women like guys who are dangerous. As a result, guys will often smoke cigarettes, drink too much, and ride a motorcycle without a helmet. The reality? Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women want us to think that because women are trying to kill us.

A developer is someone who wants to build a house in the woods. An environmentalist is someone who already has a house in the woods.

Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand.

You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R.

How many of those dead animals you see on the highway are suicides?

Liberals always feel your pain. Unless of course, they caused it.