[The Internet] ... is an amazing communications tool that's bringing the whole world together. I mean, you sit down to sign on to America Online in your hometown, and it's just staggering to think that at the same moment, halfway around the world, in China, someone you've never met is sitting at their computer, hearing the exact same busy signal that you're hearing.

Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what's more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?

A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second hand, George.

If Bill Gates is worth $30 billion then a good haircut must cost $31 billion

Is it just me, or are the 49ers doing an awful lot of ass-patting today?

And I know your next move, I watch you so much, 'There's been no proven link between the secular state of Iraq and al-Qaeda!' Come on. They both think we're Satan. Isn't that a nice starting point? Why are you so loathe to believe they might have each other on lunatic speed dial?

What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then we turn on a dime and we immediately start taking care of people. It's like a shock and aw shucks campaign.