The second type you have at these parades seems to be the people who want to mislabel Hitler. Everybody in the world is Hitler. Bush is Hitler, Ashcroft is Hitler, Rumsfeld is Hitler. The only guy who isn't Hitler is the foreign guy with a mustache dropping people who disagree with him into the wood chipper. He's not Hitler.

The punt returner got smacked like Nancy Kerrigan's knee on souvenir pipe night.

Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.

I'm glad I don't have a lot of money in the market. And quite frankly, you'd be better off giving your money to a colorblind roulette addict than put it in the stock market.

I have sympathy for any human being that's driven by their limbic part of their brain. We all know that exists in a person.

It's a cocktail-party circuit in D.C., That guy who couldn't master the guitar and get in a band and get laid, he ends up there. Gary Condit make sense to me. He's away from his family, he's in D.C. - if he was a car dealer in the [San Fernando] Valley somewhere out there, he'd be the guy who was trying to get laid by offering you the free undercoating package.

How many of those dead animals you see on the highway are suicides?