The second type you have at these parades seems to be the people who want to mislabel Hitler. Everybody in the world is Hitler. Bush is Hitler, Ashcroft is Hitler, Rumsfeld is Hitler. The only guy who isn't Hitler is the foreign guy with a mustache dropping people who disagree with him into the wood chipper. He's not Hitler.

I love this country for several reasons, not the least of which is that I know I'm allowed to hate it if I want to.

If Bill Gates is worth $30 billion then a good haircut must cost $31 billion

A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.

The Patriots deflated balls are but an allegory for America's deflated balls in dealings with Putin, the Mullahs in Iran, and Islamic terrorists.

I'm actually equal parts cynicism and apathy. I'm always willing to believe the worst as long as it doesn't take too much effort.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.