The second type you have at these parades seems to be the people who want to mislabel Hitler. Everybody in the world is Hitler. Bush is Hitler, Ashcroft is Hitler, Rumsfeld is Hitler. The only guy who isn't Hitler is the foreign guy with a mustache dropping people who disagree with him into the wood chipper. He's not Hitler.

When I said 'we', officer, I was referring to myself, the four young ladies, and, of course, the goat.

Joan Rivers telling Lauren Bacall her dress is all wrong is like Carrot Top telling Lenny Bruce he needs to get an edge.

Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.

Some people like M&Ms plain, and some people like them with nuts.

Just put down 9/11... I think, on most things I'm liberal, except on defending ourselves and keeping half the money. Those things I'm kind of conservative on.

Listen, the weather is just like Hillary's explanation for her war vote: we just don't know, do we?