If some unemployed punk in New Jersey, can get a cassette to make love to Elle McPherson for $19.95, this virtual reality stuff is going to make crack look like Sanka.

Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways.

The punt returner got smacked like Nancy Kerrigan's knee on souvenir pipe night.

Of *course* he needs to renegotiate his salary - the guy buys more snow than Seward did when he bought Alaska from the Russians.

I'm extremely moved by the loving, caring relationship the President always seems to have with his imaginary son.

Should I really care what kind of beer frogs recommend?

I don't know what I think of George W. Bush when he first got in, but I've grown fond of the man, and maybe it's the times we live in. They say he's not an environmentalist. But every time I see his ranch on TV, it looks pretty nice. You know something, if we all took care of our own, we'd have a great environment.