The Cowboy's defense has more holes in it than Ronny Milsapp and Jose Feliciano after a game of lawn darts.

Why is electricity so expensive these days? Why does it cost so much for something I can make with a balloon and my hair?

Nothing ruins the mood during foreplay more than the recurring image of your sixty-five-year-old homeroom teacher trying to stretch a condom over a cucumber.

We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.

That punt was higher than Marion Berry on a fact-finding tour of Cartagena.

In regards to Oral Roberts' claim that God told him that he would die unless he received $20 million by March, God's lawyers have stated that their client has not spoken with Roberts for several years. Off the record, God has stated that 'if I had wanted to ice the little toad, I would have done it a long time ago.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.