If Bill Gates is worth $30 billion then a good haircut must cost $31 billion
The American auto industry is blowing up like a 1976 Ford Pinto.
The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board.
Even the best psychiatrist is like a blindfolded auto mechanic poking around under your hood with a giant foam "We're #1" finger.
Parenting is the easiest job to get - you just have to screw up once and it's yours.
Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.