With Browns' ticket prices what they are, you just know that all those dads who brought the entire family to sit in the 'dog pound' are secretly calculating how much blood they're going to have to sell next week to put groceries on the table.

There's a lot of differing data [about global warming], but as far as I can gather, over the last hundred years the temperature on this planet has gone up 1.8 degrees. Am I the only one who finds that amazingly stable? I could go back to my hotel room tonight and futz with the thermostat for three to four hours. I could not detect that difference.

America may be the best country in the world, but that's kind of like being the valedictorian of summer school.

Of *course* he needs to renegotiate his salary - the guy buys more snow than Seward did when he bought Alaska from the Russians.

I'm a tad paranoid. I think the person in front of me is following me the long way round.

I haven't seen someone so overmatched since Mike Tyson tried to recite the alphabet.

Why is electricity so expensive these days? Why does it cost so much for something I can make with a balloon and my hair?