That kid's got an arm like Uncle Fester at an exhibition of Pre-Colombian... um, Christ, I lost it. I was going for something thick. So what's with the beard, Grizzly Fouts?

I'd rather be funny than wise.

I rant, therefore I am

The very definition of the innate hollowness of leading a political life when you end up on your nearest and dearest moments or most personal evenings with donors. That should - that should tell you all you need to know about the ramble that is politics.

Everybody has to sell out at some point to make a living.

There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it.

To me, nature always appears more unbalanced than Gary Busey with a clogged Eustachian tube.