But the biggest fake of the year, Paul Begala's last smile

I still feel pangs of remorse over an insidious habit I've had since I was a teenager. About three times a week, I attend estate auctions and make insulting, low-ball bids for prized heirlooms until I'm asked to leave.

What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?

[The Internet] ... is an amazing communications tool that's bringing the whole world together. I mean, you sit down to sign on to America Online in your hometown, and it's just staggering to think that at the same moment, halfway around the world, in China, someone you've never met is sitting at their computer, hearing the exact same busy signal that you're hearing.

Concussion? How the hell can they tell? They're *football* players, for chrissakes!

If Clinton had only attacked terrorism as much as he attacks George Bush we wouldn't be in this problem.

I am proof that Einstein's "e equals m c squared" is wrong. My mass has increased, but my energy has dropped.