I'm one of the more pessimistic cats on the planet. I make Van Gogh look like a rodeo clown.

[The Internet] ... is an amazing communications tool that's bringing the whole world together. I mean, you sit down to sign on to America Online in your hometown, and it's just staggering to think that at the same moment, halfway around the world, in China, someone you've never met is sitting at their computer, hearing the exact same busy signal that you're hearing.

Pat Buchanan is so homo-phobic, he blames global warming on the AIDS quilt.

Ray Lewis knifed through those offensive linemen like a sucker-punch switchblade slicing between the ribs of some inebriated trash-talking punk outside a sports bar.

I'm extremely moved by the loving, caring relationship the President always seems to have with his imaginary son.

Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.

Somebody can say they don't understand why somebody drifts. But I've always found people who drift interesting, 'cause it shows me the game's not stagnant in their own head. They're thinking.