Bill Gates is just a monocle and a Persian Cat away from being one of the bad guys in a James Bond movie.

I haven't seen anyone rely on the ground game this much since the battle of Verdun.

A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.

Somebody can say they don't understand why somebody drifts. But I've always found people who drift interesting, 'cause it shows me the game's not stagnant in their own head. They're thinking.

I had fun pretending to be a sportscaster. People always think that was a down thing for me. I had the best job in sports broadcasting for two years.

The second type you have at these parades seems to be the people who want to mislabel Hitler. Everybody in the world is Hitler. Bush is Hitler, Ashcroft is Hitler, Rumsfeld is Hitler. The only guy who isn't Hitler is the foreign guy with a mustache dropping people who disagree with him into the wood chipper. He's not Hitler.

Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong.