I don't know what I think of George W. Bush when he first got in, but I've grown fond of the man, and maybe it's the times we live in. They say he's not an environmentalist. But every time I see his ranch on TV, it looks pretty nice. You know something, if we all took care of our own, we'd have a great environment.

Pat Buchanan is so homo-phobic, he blames global warming on the AIDS quilt.

Warner had more hands in his face than an OB-GYN delivering Vishnu's triplets!

When I said 'we', officer, I was referring to myself, the four young ladies, and, of course, the goat.

A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.

When you're sharing a mud hole with a wildebeest derriere in sub-Saharan Africa, that's a living hell.

A developer is someone who wants to build a house in the woods. An environmentalist is someone who already has a house in the woods.