The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

Homosexuals are entering the mainstream, because they're becoming as boring and as tedious as any other splinter group.

I'm one of the more pessimistic cats on the planet. I make Van Gogh look like a rodeo clown.

The Nazi signs have got to stop. If you're in a peace march and the guy next to you has a sign saying that 'Bush is Hitler,' forget the peace thing for a second and beat his ass, because he is not Hitler.

I'm actually equal parts cynicism and apathy. I'm always willing to believe the worst as long as it doesn't take too much effort.

Everybody has to sell out at some point to make a living.

And finally, and most importantly, the next time we go to war, don't give a specific reason for the war that the left can seize upon and later flog us with it ad nauseam, just do it. Remember, the first rule of Fight Club is that you don't talk about Fight Club.