I think we have to help the helpless. The clueless? I don't give a rat's ass about the clueless.

Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.

The White House looked into a plan that would allow illegal immigrants to stay in the United States. The plan called for a million Mexicans to marry a million of our ugliest citizens.

Liberals always feel your pain. Unless of course, they caused it.

When I said 'we', officer, I was referring to myself, the four young ladies, and, of course, the goat.

Hey, what if those crop circles are just ads for Target?

I'm extremely moved by the loving, caring relationship the President always seems to have with his imaginary son.