Trends don't mean anything to me. If I like something, I'll do it. If I don't, I won't do it, and I wouldn't care if everybody in the country mocked me.

Police in Washington D.C. are now using cameras to catch drivers who go through red lights. Many congressmen this week opposed the use of the red light cameras incorrectly assuming they were being used for surveillance at local brothels.

The government could take away all the drugs in the world and people would spin around on their lawns until they fell down and saw God.

What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?

If I want low-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate. If I want high-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate again.

Why is electricity so expensive these days? Why does it cost so much for something I can make with a balloon and my hair?

How do we know for sure that no two snowflakes are the same - we haven't got anybody watching.