If I had wanted to ice the little toad, I would have done it a long time ago.

And finally, and most importantly, the next time we go to war, don't give a specific reason for the war that the left can seize upon and later flog us with it ad nauseam, just do it. Remember, the first rule of Fight Club is that you don't talk about Fight Club.

Jerry Falwell says that abortion and homosexuality are sins. Oh yeah? Well, so is gluttony, Jerry. So maybe you should think about dropping 50 pounds.

Most Americans will let liberals and conservatives play their games because most Americans don't pay attention.

One man's Voltaire is another man's Screech.

The world is so ass-backwards it almost makes you wish you were dyslexic.

How many of those dead animals you see on the highway are suicides?