I would call the French scumbags, but that, of course, would be a disservice to bags filled with scum. I say we invade Iraq, then invade Chirac.

Ah, Feminism in the nineties, what a What is yours what is mine field.

I love this country for several reasons, not the least of which is that I know I'm allowed to hate it if I want to.

Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.

And quit bringing up our forefathers and saying they were civil libertarians. Our founding fathers would have never tolerated any of this crap. For God's sake, they were blowing peoples' heads off because they put a tax on their breakfast beverage. And it wasn't even coffee.

The Cowboy's defense has more holes in it than Ronny Milsapp and Jose Feliciano after a game of lawn darts.

The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country.