There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.

I love this country for several reasons, not the least of which is that I know I'm allowed to hate it if I want to.

Their offense is shakier than Katherine Hepburn after an all-night espresso bender at Starbucks.

I am proof that Einstein's "e equals m c squared" is wrong. My mass has increased, but my energy has dropped.

Ray Lewis knifed through those offensive linemen like a sucker-punch switchblade slicing between the ribs of some inebriated trash-talking punk outside a sports bar.

I think the American legal system sucks worse than a Celine Dion cover version of Whole Lotta Love.

I used to be sceptic, but not anymore, because now I am positive that I'm getting screwed.