While other kids were out playing and doing healthy things, I read an ancient judo book with a neck hold that was fatal to so many people they finally dropped it from judo.

Every student of comedy should see Dame Edna at least twice.

Being the offspring of English teachers is a mixed blessing. When the film star says to you, on the air, 'It was a perfect script for she and I,' inside your head you hear, in the sarcastic voice of your late father, 'Perfect for she, eh? And perfect for I, also?'

Radio, which was a much better medium than television will ever be, was easy and pleasant to listen to. Your mind filled automatically with images.

The mob became unruly and the police were forced to resort to sex.

My IQ is somewhere between Spiro Agnew's and Albert Einstein's.

I like when the ice gets thin, the going gets rough, the guests get edgy.