Women give us solace, but if it were not for women we should never need solace.
Gentlemen prefer blondes, but take what they can get.
If I had my life to live over, I would perhaps have more actual troubles but I'd have fewer imaginary ones.
About the time we get old enough to be as wicked as we want to be, we don't want to be so very wicked after all.
A humorist is a person who feels bad, but who feels good about it.
Don't ever slam a door, you might want to go back.