If the world were not so full of people, and most of them did not have to work so hard, there would be more time for them to get out and lie on the grass, and there would be more grass for them to lie on.

The art of newspaper paragraphing is to stroke a platitude until it purrs like an epigram.

In order to influence a child, one must be careful not to be that child's parent or grandparent.

It is a cheering thought to think that God is on the side of the best digestion.

Insects have their own point of view about civilization a man thinks he amounts to a great deal but to a flea or a mosquito a human being is merely something good to eat.

Many a man spanks his children for things his own father should have spanked out of him.

This is another day! Are its eyes blurred with maudlin grief for any wasted past? A thousand thousand failures shall not daunt! Let dust clasp dust, death, death; I am alive!