If the world were not so full of people, and most of them did not have to work so hard, there would be more time for them to get out and lie on the grass, and there would be more grass for them to lie on.

Life's too damn funny for me to explain.

In order to influence a child, one must be careful not to be that child's parent or grandparent.

Just as soon as the uplifters get a country reformed it slips into a nose dive.

Persian pussy from over the sea demure and lazy and smug and fat none of your ribbons and bells for me ours is the zest of the alley cat

I suppose the human race is doing the best it can but hells bells thats only an explanation its not an excuse.

The art of newspaper paragraphing is to stroke a platitude until it purrs like an epigram.