The art of newspaper paragraphing is to stroke a platitude until it purrs like an epigram.

Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

Happiness is the interval between periods of unhappiness.

Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint.

For all of the creeds are false, and all of the creeds are true; And low at the shrines where my brothers bow, there will I bow too; For no form of a god, and no fashion Man has made in his desperate passion, But is worthy some worship of mine; Not too hot with a gross belief, Nor yet too cold with pride, I will bow me down where my brothers bow, Humble, but open eyed.

If a child shows himself incorrigible, he should be decently and quietly beheaded at the age of twelve, lest he grow to maturity, marry, and perpetuate his kind.

One of the most important things to remember about infant care is: don't change diapers in midstream.