The art of newspaper paragraphing is to stroke a platitude until it purrs like an epigram.

Fishing is a delusion entirely surrounded by liars in old clothes.

By the time a bartender knows what drink a man will have before he orders, there is little else about him worth knowing.

An optimist is a guy that has never had much experience.

I get up in the morning with an idea for a three-volume novel and by nightfall it's a paragraph in my column.

If you want to get rich from writing, write the sort of thing that's read by persons who move their lips when they're reading to themselves.

Not every woman in old slippers can manage to look like Cinderella