The old days were the old days. And they were great days. But now is now.

I have a problem, if the light goes on on TV and it blinks midnight, I don't know how to fix it.

The transformation has been unbelievable. When I started here, I worked in a place where the Sky Room was on the second floor.

It's just to break things up between stand-up gigs. I would only do it periodically. Maybe just an East Coast thing.

When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can't please everyone. But when you're different, you can last.

I cannot tell a joke. But I can do a situation, that it becomes a joke.

I don't do impressions.