Guns aren't lawful; nooses give; gas smells awful. So you might as well live.

This play John Drinkwater's Abraham Lincoln holds the season's record, thus far, with a run of four evening performances and one matinee. By an odd coincidence, it ran just five performances too many.

Some men break your heart in two, Some men fawn and flatter, Some men never look at you; And that cleans up the matter.

Women and elephants never forget.

[At the reception following her remarriage to Alan Campbell:] People who haven't talked to each other in years are on speaking terms again today - including the bride and groom.

If all the young ladies who attended the Yale promenade dance were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised.

All I have to be thankful for in this world is that I was sitting down when my garter busted.